My sophomore year has all around sucked. I have a lot of things running through my head but no one to tell them too. I don’t even really know what’s going on with me lately, again. Lets start from the very beginning in September and list everything till now. I saw my Dad drunk an crying with a loaded gun saying he was going to kill himself and him put his hand in my face an tell me bye, My Dad got kicked out, I got caught being out of mind flintstoned by my Mom, I failed my first class, my Mom found a lump in her boob and for about a week an half had a scare of breast cancer(turned out negative to be cancerous), I got arrested, and I told my Dad for the first time yesterday that he may be my father but for the past couple of years he sure as hell isn’t much of a Dad. Theres more things but these are some main ones, then On top of it all killing myself has been an option for me and it shouldnt be. I know my life isn’t terrible and it could be so much worse but lately it sure as hell has sucked.

A lot of the times I turn this house upside down looking for something to take to much of and just not wake up. Then again sometimes, I want to purposely drink to much and not wake up. Either or.